Have you ever been to a place or an event, let’s say a party of one of your friends at school, and then asked yourself: “What on earth I’m doing here, I should’ve stayed home instead, maybe playing video games, or watching a movie while eating some snacks.”
What does that have to do with the Decision-making?
Well, when you ask yourself the previous question, you actually realize that you made a wrong decision or rather an inappropriate decision given the circumstances around you.
What decision should I make at this exact moment?
So, to avoid being in the wrong place, you will have to be able to make your decision when you have to, for instance, in the example above leaving the party and going home will be an excellent decision, and it will be very good for your psychological health.
What do we mean by decision-making?
Decision-making should be your best friend in this case, and to have a solid friendship with it, you have to know it very well, comprehend it, and act upon it.
When we say decision-making, we mean the process that you will have to go through when you have to choose, basically, it’s a daily thing, by identifying your position, analyzing information, and evaluating the alternatives.
Let’s apply that to the party example, your friend tells you: “We will have a party at Tim’s place at the weekend, wanna join?” before you make your choice, gather some information from your friend, who’s coming? What’s the main event? …
After gathering the information, ask yourself some questions, do I really want to party this weekend? Or do I just want to have a home rest and live an in-door routine?
that will help you recognize why are you joining the party? Are you going to have fun after a hard week? Will this party be to your advantage or not?
We did some research and experiments, to pick the top tools that will be very helpful for you in facilitating the decision-making process, and to make it more useable in everything in your life, what to eat, where to go, what to read, what to waWe need to mention that we are not life coaches, in this article, we are not telling you what to do, we are just giving you some tools that will make choices easier for you, But first, let’s take a look at the challenges that you may encounter.
A- Decision-making challenges
Nothing is easy, especially when it comes to decision-making, sometimes we prefer to neglect the whole decision and its thought and follow the stream because it’s way easier, and we will get some dopamine off it, so why not? the challenges mentioned below revolve around this idea.
1- Peer pressure.
Oh my, this challenge is actually the hardest one, we call it “Voldemort”, the villain that you will have to go through 7 parts to face directly. Seeking acceptance could lead to very dirty situations, and obviously, it’s the cancer of the decision-making ability, believe us, we were teenagers before.
2- Social media.
Social media can impact perceptions and decisions, sometimes leading to making choices based on trends, rather than true interests or values, in other words, it could make you act upon what the community likes or accepts, even if it’s against your true self.
3- Information overload.
Nothing can distract you more than this, have you ever been searching online for good white sneakers to buy, and then after spending 30-40 minutes searching, you found yourself reading an article about ducks?
We have an endless supply of information in our pockets, to the point that makes us struggle through what is relevant to us.
4- Fear of failure.
It could be paralyzing, even for old adults, who want to spend a lot of time and money on something whatever it is, and then lose everything because they made the wrong choice from the beginning, the idea itself could depress you.
There are also other challenges such as self-doubt or parental expectations etc. but from experience, we can say that the challenges above are the most common factors that can directly affect your decision-making ability, it also depends on how you see stuff, you can see anything as a challenge or an obstacle on front of you, but it’s not necessary the case, the information overload for instance, could be in your advantage, and the tools below can help you with that.
B- Decision-making Tools.
At the beginning, we would like to say that the following is not really tools, it’s a process more than a tool, but we found that it would be a lot easier to use as tools since we already tried it ourselves and it didn’t work as a guideline to follow, due to the huge differences between all of us, so it’s highly recommended to use them however suits you, it’s a solo journey after all, your decision to make not ours.
Tool 1: Self-awareness.
First of all, we are deeply sorry for addressing it like that, we understand how we as human beings are abusing the “self-awareness” term a lot nowadays, using a lot of complicated scientific and psychological definitions to describe it, even though it’s a very simple feature that we don’t need to do articles and lectures to describe it or understand it.
Very simple, know yourself, recognize what suits you and what doesn’t, what comforts you and what annoys you, so you can be selective, and smart towards the options in front of you, that’s it.
That also includes recognizing what are you facing and are willing to achieve within the time of choosing e.g, if you have exams approaching, and you missed some classes, at the same time you want to get high grades so you can study the major you prefer, it will be a very smart decision to stay home for the weekend and prepare yourself, instead of going out parting all night and spending the whole next day recovering from the party effects on you.
Tool 2: Self-acceptance.
If something doesn’t suit you, and you do not feel comfortable with, don’t try to hide it, Knowing what suits you is important, but it won’t be effective if you don’t make your peace with it.
It could be a little bit challenging, especially when friends and families are involved, at this point you have to be very clear and honest, I won’t join you guys because I have some stuff to do e.g. studying or maybe building a project. Sorry guys, I won’t eat this with you, because I’m trying to stay in shape.
This point is very important because in most cases, it will lead to a discussion, and the discussion will be more helpful for you in making the decision, we are not saying that you always have to say “NO!”, we are saying that you will have to know when to say it.
Recognizing what is suitable for you and your current status, and making your peace with it is the most important step, without them, you won’t be able to decide anything.
Tool 3: the “NO”.
As we said, The “No!” tool is important, that’s why you can be in a situation where saying “No!” is difficult, because it’s important, and as any important thing, you will try to avoid it.
Now here it is, don’t deal with the “NO” as an important thing, be as simple as you can, I would say no to that because according to my self-awareness and acceptance, that doesn’t go along with me
Let’s get back to our example, the same friend inviting you to a party, if you have nothing to do for the weekend, and you are getting bored with the walls of your room, you can give it a shoot and go. If you have some stuff to do but you can do it another time without any kind of stress, also there is someone you have a crush on joining the party, it will be highly recommended to go.
We are not saying that you have to be a “bot” just doing your tasks without any kind of honest enjoyment, however, we highly recommend to know and recognize your current position, try to analyze the circumstances, and accordingly say “NO” if it’s required.
Tool 4: Flexibility.
Okay, let’s just say it, you can be wrong, even with yourself, it’s possible to make an inappropriate decision, even though you’ve been very careful following the steps above, and that is totally fine, we are human after all, we can be in a certain status that makes us take wrong choices, but it’s not the end of the world.
Therefore, you should be as flexible as you can, if you start to feel that you made the wrong decision, try to evaluate your current position, and see if it’s possible to rectify it, if it’s not, make your peace with it and consider it an experience which will make the decision making more easier in the future.
However, we sometimes forget that our small human brain can’t see the future, so it is really easy for “your brain” to categorize your choice as a bad one and throw it to the pin, but that is not always the case, your decision can be a good one, but you still need more time to see that, in other words, you need some patience.
Tool 5: Patience.
Now here is the thing, without this elite weapon “Patience” nothing above will make any sense, this one is like the egg that is included in almost all cake recipes, without it, everything will fall over, and you just waste your time and energy for nothing.
All of us have a lot of stories that didn’t include patience and went on very dirty afterward, and at this point, we should consider it as a lesson and try to use it sometime, it will make the cake very delightful and sweet.
When we talk about patience, we have to mention emotional regulation, as emotions are patience’s worst enemy, so before reacting to any matter, give yourself some seconds so you can look more into it and manage your response, before you jump in with your horses making yourself the night show because Kathrine rejected you, and refused to go out with you in a vanilla milkshake date, and went out with Kevin on his sport car.
Books and apps.
We don’t recommend using specialized books or apps to assist you in making your decision, of course, you can use them in research so you can get your perspective wider and wider, but not the specialized one.
The main reason is that decision-making is a skill that should be developed as personally as you can, to be more related to you. For example, this article doesn’t tell you how you can make your decision, it just tells you some possible ways to develop it as an important skill in building your future.
Another critical reason, we don’t have any kind of sponsors or collaborations yet, rest assured that we will recommend a lot of books or apps as soon as we can make money out of those recommendations. We made this decision so we can develop the website and make it more fun for you to use and discover.
Conclusion:
In the end, the only thing that we want to say is to always remember yourself in your decision-making process, that doesn’t mean that you have to be some kind of a selfish jerk, just try to make a balance between yourself, your friends, family or society, and from this equation, hopefully, you will be able to make the decision that aligns with your true self, if you are a good person, it will be a good decision for you and people around you, if you are a bad person, it will be a good one for you and a bad decision for people around you.